Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Making the Grade

So Newsweek came out with their top 1000 US High Schools list. By itself that's a great idea; find the best schools in the country, make a list and let the public see where those schools are. The downside of course is that the criteria for Best School seemed a little limited.

"Public schools are ranked according to a ratio devised by Jay Mathews: the number of Advanced Placement or International Baccalaureate tests taken by all students at a school in 2004 divided by the number of graduating seniors."

I went to a Private School so my alma Mater was excluded out right. It would never make that list anyway. It only offered 4 advanced placement classes and not many students took them (we had 6 students in the Clalc 1 course).

We need a comprehensive list of great schools, public and private. I'd like to rank the best 1000 High Schools in the country too. My list will also use a seemingly ambiguous and arbitrary criteria. Simply put it will rank the schools according to how much fun it is. Fun will be determined by the ratio: number of students involved in suicide divided by the number of Water Slide rides taken by the school's student population.

So I encourage my old stomping ground, Seton Catholic Central, to bulk up on amusement park rides, cotton candy machines and games. The school has recently moved to a new building. It would be nice to see it spend some money to make the education experience more fun.

Perhaps they could outfit all the classrooms with strippers to help students answer questions correctly. The cafeteria could be outfitted with McDonald's and their wonderful playground. Gym class could be replaced with a pie eating contest. You get the idea.

Most of these things would end up paying for themselves. Everyone in the community could be invited to the school to enjoy the great new innovations in fun that Seton would be at the forefront of. This would be a tremendous benefit to the community. As we all know townies flock to carnivals. They would end up subsidizing the students, and who knows they may even pick up a little "book learnin" too.

If Seton is creative enough it could find itself close to the top of my Top 1000 schools list, maybe even #1.

Pray for us.


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