Monday, July 25, 2005

Kids at The Movies

I go to a lot of movies. I end up going to a few of them after midnight. I have to tell you, here in the city, there is trend that needs to end. Parents bringing their babies to scarry movies after 10pm.

It happens every time I go to the movies. This past weekend I went to a 12:30am showing of Devil's Rejects (great by the way). A father brought his 3 or 4 year old child in, in a stroller. As soon as the trailers started the kid flipped out. The staff asked the guy to leave and begrudgingly he walked out.

Why bother? If you're a parent I can understand that you might need a night out. Leave the kid at home. If you can't afford a babysitter and the movie, be wise. Set money aside every month so that you can do both.

If parents don't listen to that simple advice, the theatres should take a note from the Government. Tax bad behavior. Why do theatres charge less for children than adults? They both take up the same amount of seating. Let's say that if you go to the movies before 9pm the pricing stays the same as it is today in your local movie house. Than, from 9 to 10pm the price of a child's ticket should be the same as an adult's. After 10pm each child should be charged $50 for seating. That way it would be cheaper to get a baby sitter than to take the kid to a night showing.

We can tax parents for all sorts of bad behavior. A $30 fee for unruly children in a restuarant. $70 a day for kids who act up in class (we could have a sliding scale based on age). I'm sure there are plenty of other great ways to screw parents.

There may be some concern that the parents won't be able to pay for all their infractions. That's fine, what they can do is sell or rent their least favorite child to major corporations. I'm sure the companies won't mind. They could mark it down as subsidizing families in exchange for have tiny workers and in some cases an endless supply of child actors for mindless commercials for eternity.

Write your Congressman today and request legislation to reign in the evil, irresponsible parents of the world. My comfortable movie going experience is at stake.


Anonymous Dan said...

Howdy Dave!

How's that article coming along? Are your evil boxes still in control?

By the way, we're posting RPL issue #2 on 6 Aug - pushing it back a week 'cause I've been busy working on my book (more on that to follow). So you've got some more time... but not too much...

Thursday, July 28, 2005 3:50:00 PM  

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