The Baby Pedestal
I'm getting to the point in my life where my friends are having babies and keep me waiting for appointments because their babysitter was late. Therefore I have diligently worked on a solution and come up with The Baby Pedestal, patent pending. I figured sense we have been advertising Cat Furniture, and I think most recently Adult toys, why not this wonderful new product.
The basic concept is simple. You have a baby or toddler. You wish to go to the movies or have an important meeting which you desperately need to be on time for. However, your care provider has called to say that he or she will be a little late. Ordinarily this would also make you late.
Not anymore, not when you have The Baby Pedestal. It's now easy and safe to leave your stupid baby unattended. Before you would have to worry about it; scolding itself on the oven or with an iron, electrocuting itself with the outlet or locking itself in the refridgerator. With Baby Pedestal, no worries.
The three foot pole can be bolted to any even floor surface, in a corner or near furniture. Baby sits comfortably a top the pedestal strapped in tight with padded titanium belts. Wrap it up, hand it a bag full of Cheerio's and turn on the TV. You can walk out that door on time and worry free. When your care provider arrives Baby is where you left it; safe, sound and fit as a fiddle; ready to play and learn.
Baby Pedestal can also come in handy when a child throws a tantrum. Quickly tie them in, place the Baby Bird Cage (patent pending) over the pedestal and throw Baby Sack (patent pending) on top. Slowly, like a bird, baby will stop skwaking and calm down, ready to listen, without your need to raise your hand in anger.
Coming soon, Geriatric Pedestal for guilt free Elder Care, toilet not included.
The basic concept is simple. You have a baby or toddler. You wish to go to the movies or have an important meeting which you desperately need to be on time for. However, your care provider has called to say that he or she will be a little late. Ordinarily this would also make you late.
Not anymore, not when you have The Baby Pedestal. It's now easy and safe to leave your stupid baby unattended. Before you would have to worry about it; scolding itself on the oven or with an iron, electrocuting itself with the outlet or locking itself in the refridgerator. With Baby Pedestal, no worries.
The three foot pole can be bolted to any even floor surface, in a corner or near furniture. Baby sits comfortably a top the pedestal strapped in tight with padded titanium belts. Wrap it up, hand it a bag full of Cheerio's and turn on the TV. You can walk out that door on time and worry free. When your care provider arrives Baby is where you left it; safe, sound and fit as a fiddle; ready to play and learn.
Baby Pedestal can also come in handy when a child throws a tantrum. Quickly tie them in, place the Baby Bird Cage (patent pending) over the pedestal and throw Baby Sack (patent pending) on top. Slowly, like a bird, baby will stop skwaking and calm down, ready to listen, without your need to raise your hand in anger.
Coming soon, Geriatric Pedestal for guilt free Elder Care, toilet not included.
posted by Dave at 2:31 PM
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