Thursday, March 23, 2006

Adam Morrison: Sports Cheat

We've all seen the news pieces about Adam Morrison overcoming the odds to become the leading scorer in the NCAA. The feat is impressive until you find out that he's no better then Barry Bonds. That's right Adam Morrison uses performance enhancing drugs.

"Oh no," you cry, "he needs that insulin to live!" Boo who. With it he is a powerhouse that can't be contained. So what if it's life sustaining, it still enhances his performance.

Many don't remember but back in 1987 Barry Bonds could barely hold a bat let alone swing it. The team physician, citing severe weight deficiency, requested that he not be required to bunt. The very force of holding the bat to a high speed pitch would have rendered him to dust. Thanks to a great work out regimen and a healthy dose of "steroids" (quotations used to emphasize unknown combinations of chemicals) Bonds is a juggernaut that stands on the threshold of history.

What I contend is that if an * is placed on Bonds' records the same should be done for Adam Morrison. While no doubt is placed on either one of these athlete's raw abilities they share a need for drugs that allow them to continue at their highest levels. So what if Bonds doesn't need "steroids" to live. Does that also mean we should outlaw Lazik surgery for sports that require quick eye-hand coordination?

If we truly desired a level playing field for our athletes each team would have to have access to the same equipment, foods and practice conditions. Each player would be required to remove their shoes during play as well as any other specialized equipment.

If Morrison can get away with his "life sustaining" doping, each player should be able to choose his or her enhancement poison as well. Fair is fair after all.

Paid for by the Make Barry Bonds King of baseball campaign.


Blogger Erasmus said...

How I long for the days before all this controversy. If only we could have the good ol' days when players took the field hungover and smoked in the dugouts.

Friday, March 24, 2006 1:05:00 PM  
Blogger Gaius Germanicus said...

I think all sports should ban the testing of performance enhancing substances. These people have nothing in common with us anyway. The lust for a steriod free Sports world is a longing for the old days when like Erasmus said the stars were just like us. Well, they aren't so why do we keep pretending. Sports is only about money, generated by entertainment. Who cares how they do it. I just want to see some spectacle. Steriods provide it, who cares. Integrity? Integrity is just linguistics in sports anyway. They are always going to try to beat the system, why not just accept it and get on with it. BREAD AND CIRCUS! Do you think they would have tested gladiators for steriods?

Friday, March 24, 2006 2:05:00 PM  
Blogger Epictetus said...

If you ask me the future of sports is Cybernetics. Super-atheletes will be created, fusing man and machine (enhanced prostetics initially)...afterall, why should physically/mentally disabled atheletes be excluded, forced to compete in their own "Special Olympics" -which nobody watches.

The public's thirst for more higher scores, record-breaking feats, etc. is insatiable. Cyborgs should help raise the bar to a new, exciting level...but what then?

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 6:39:00 AM  
Blogger Gaius Germanicus said...

The cyborgs will decide they want to watch us perform feats for them instead. But perhaps they won't be interested in sports and find something more "usefull" for us to do.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 12:11:00 PM  

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