Friday, May 20, 2005


I propose that you can't be a good American unless you have a conspriacy theory. Everyone has some strange idea that a mysterious "them" is hiding something. I can understand why you might feel conspired against, feel like you are a victim. Life dosen't always work out the way you want and somebody should be at fault for that.

Conspiracy theory provides a very special function. It gives people the belief that at least someone is in control. It's easy to believe that the US Government conspired to start a war in Iraq using false information. Especially if you weren't in the room when they discussed it. Especially if you were told by people who said they have evidence. Especially if you don't double check their evidence, blindly believing what you're told (frankly, who has the time).

The alternative to that is less comforting; that our leaders are grossly incompetent and willfully myopic.

Maybe the Iraq war is a bad example. I can see why a large group might believe that its cause was a little of both; voluntary ignorance and bold faced lies. Hey wait a minute... nah. In any case, if you have a theory take heart, you're not alone. Just realize the truth may be a lot more simple and a lot more scary than you thought.

Thursday, May 19, 2005


As this is the start of our blog I'd like to take a moment to discribe what this is and where it started. I had my first taste of the Absurd Men Speak lecture series while sitting at the lunch table in High School. A friend and I were discussing the formation of a new religion based on the Holy experience of taking a dump. The name for this religion would be Fecalism. It turned out to be the shortest lived religion ever divised by man. It lasted only the lunch period due to theological differences surrounding the origin of the Trinity. We can all agree that the fabeled two flush no wipe dump is the heaven on earth which we all seek, but where should our true devotion lay? Is it in the stages of digestion, or in the forms which we excrete? In hind sight the whole idea is patently absurd. As we all know now, it is a far more spritual sensation to take a long leak.

At any rate, discussions like these have taken place over many coffees, beers and MacNimara's Bandwhiches. So many in fact that the Come Hear Absurd Men Speak Lecture Series was born. For the longest time it was four guys sitting around verbally abusing each other until they passed out.

The web has added a new dimension to our talks, bringing a world audience (all friends and's a small world) to completely outrageous, sometimes thought provoking ideas which would otherwise be lost in basements, parks, coffee shops and bars (all the places commonly known as thought balckholes). It should be remembered that any ideas presented here should be taken with the saltiest of grains. If you find something upsetting, rather than bluster on (which would be quite absurd) your time might be better spent exploring why you are offended. No one likes a loud mouthed idiot, everyone loves a loud mouthed intellectual (which is wholly absurd).